I grew up loving Christmas, even though I did not get it. That was my parents’ fault, because they loved Christmas but were agnostics. We did the tree and the lights, and I put out the nativity and of course Santa got me presents every year, but I had no idea that this was religious holiday, even when I was old enough to understand religion as a concept. Mother sometimes tried to explain that it was an old pagan holiday about the regeneration of the earth in the darkest of winter, with the baby in the manger representing Spring and the renewal of Life. Given that I was more atheistic in my leanings I thought that was a nice fairy tale and enjoyed the party.
Now that I am old enough and experienced enough to just say, “Fuck it, I’m an Atheist” I am at a loss for holidays. I enjoy holidays. Yes, the root of the word ‘holiday’ is ‘holy day’ and there is nothing holy in an Atheists life except, perhaps, life itself. So while the whole baby Jesus thing is a bit absurd, I think celebrating birthdays with presents and decorations and parties and lots of sugar cookies is an excellent idea. Let us, however, celebrate real people who did something valuable in the real world (which, to my mind, excludes Jesus entirely).
- March 14th: Albert Einstien. No one is perfect, but he was damn good man over all, and brilliant. Yes, let’s make this the first of our Atheist Holidays.
- May 20th: John Stuart Mill. The polymath’s polymath. Brilliant, influential, and straightforward.
- October 15th: Nietzsche. Obviously.
- November 9th: Carl Sagan. An atheist’s atheist! A champion of science and reason!
- November 30th: Mark Twain. Not so obviously, but really, he was. And he was funny. Twofer!
- December 25th: I propose giving ‘Christmas’ over to remembering Socrates and Plato and Aristotle; it can and has been argued that the Ancients, without a concept of Atheism as we understand it, can not be called so. Sure. Whatever. In my mind, we probably would not have a modern concept of Atheism without the foundations of Philosophy under us, and anyway, they were pagans and Christmas was originally a pagan holiday so it wraps up together well. An argument you can tear to shreds, no doubt, but really: SUGAR COOKIES! PRETTY LIGHTS! PRESENTS! Are you prepared to write all that off? I’m not. Any excuse is a good excuse.
That gives us six days a year to celebrate, with a flash-bang ending to the winter season that ramps up nicely starting with Nietzsche and running down to…er, Not-Christmas. Need to work on that name, I think. Something Greek that doesn’t sound sexual or confusing…Suggestions?
ADDENDA: I thought about Oscar Wilde, but he converted to Roman Catholicism on his death bead, the bastard, so he’s out. Darwin is an obvious choice, but he was a man of faith who tarried his scientific discoveries because of his religious questioning. Waffling gets you nowhere. But we could really use some summer holidays, and please a woman in list? Asking too much? Note to self: Find an influential dead female atheist born between June and September.
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